Compatibility: A Christian Marital Perspective


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There has to be a reason why so many marriages fail. It just isn’t right that two people who come to love one another so much that they decide to become life-long companions should dissolve this relationship, often only months after taking the marriage vow. What strange thing happens after the vow is taken that destroys that desire for one another that was so strong in courtship? Why is it that a courtship may continue for years, and the relationship not be substantially altered, but soon after the couple is married that glow of romance dims and the relationship begins to grow into a detachment, then to estrangement, and finally separation? Divorce only legalizes separation.

This is not true of all marriages, of course.  There are many strong ones that will last a lifetime and never lose their vitality, but the fact that separation and divorce are bringing and end to more than half the marriages taking place is enough reason to give some real serious consideration to why it is happening.  A word which, with increasing frequenc, keeps cropping up in the divorce courts is “incompatibility”.  Incompatibility means the incapability of existing together.  In everyday language it simply means that two people are so miserable in one another’s company that the courts consider it advisable to dissolve the marriage.  This condition arises as a result of something that did not appear in courtship, or it was ignored as insignificant in the whole process of marraige considerations.  So when the physical attraction of marriage begins to give way to the more rational aspects, the things that result in incompatibility take over and marital problems begin; and may it be clearly understood that incompatibility is not a Bible reason for divorce.

The emphasis of this book is not on incompatibility; rather, it focuses on its counterpart  – Compatibility.  There are four areas in which marriage couples must find compatibility, or their marriage will not experience its greatest fulfillment  Those areas include the physical, spiritual, domestic, and emotional.  Each of these areas of relationship may be discussed fromt he standpoint of holy Scripture.  God who created man from the dust of the earth can also provide a way for him to make the marriage relationship fit the image defined in Scripture.